dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
