He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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