You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
