mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize