He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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