Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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