he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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