I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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