i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize