Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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