I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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