Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
