Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize
