OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize