Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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