Is it because I queefed?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
