she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
