I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
