I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
it's like iHOP with fire
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
