he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
