who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
