i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
