just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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