I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
