Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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