No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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