I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
