if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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