I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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