New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize