'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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