Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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