so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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