How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
