I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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