my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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