Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
