I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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