..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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