I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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