My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
