how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize