i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
