Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
