I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
