this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
