How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
