ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
