I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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