Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
