May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
