I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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