She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
